“All the blessings we enjoy are Divine deposits, committed to our trust on this condition, that they should be dispensed for the benefit of our neighbors” John Calvin
This had been bugging me for weeks. . . Should I share? Should I not share? As I ponder the questions, I realize that a Divine deposit has happened and I feel compelled to share it. Why? Is it possible it could help someone to live without guilt or shame, to rise above selfishness?
Just recently, I found myself in a situation where my husband was ailing. Instead of me thinking about what was going on at the time, my mind focused on all the wrong things. “What if it is a sickness unto death? I still can’t keep up with all the things he does in our business. What will I do?”
Admit Where You Are
I couldn’t think straight. I kept trying to figure out where I would start, and how I would get help to carry on just the priorities. I felt guilt and shame for even thinking like that, but I did.
We have spent over 28 years together and over 17 of those years have been in the ministry of book publishing. People were asking me what they could do for me. I didn’t know what to tell’em, so I said, “So far, there is nothing.” Then I thought about the grass needs cutting. . . “I could cut it if need be,” I thought.
You Have More Going For You Than You Think
We are not always prepared for the hands we are dealt, whether we are single, or married. There is no doubt what has to happen: either we pick up the pieces and make efforts to get back on track, or we spend time in the wilderness wondering what now.
I have faced death before with my husband. As I think back, I remember thinking the same way, but some how God gave me the strength to go on, to get done what needed to be done.
Don’t Linger In Selfishness Too Long
I remember praying, “Lord, not now. I need him healthy so he can continue doing the things that make my life functional. His sickness prevents that. I feel abandoned, left alone and unattended to.”
How selfish of me. That was just shameful. I couldn’t believe what was coming up in my thoughts, but it did. Some times in our relationships we are just plain selfish. It is about us. We want God to heal our loved ones because we hurt, or we don’t want to be alone, or we want our lives back the way they were.
The Turning Point
This event brought me to my knees. It is amazing how much God loves us. He loves us too much to leave us the same. . . in our selfishness.
Spiritual Growth One Event At A Time
I grew another few inches spiritually with this situation. Why am I sharing this? God is looking for honest folk, those who will come clean, be vulnerable and rely on Him, who are willing to lay broken before His feet.
What is in your heart toward another person, be it a spouse or someone else close to you, or a friend, can be a hindrance to what God wants to do in your life.
Let me know what you think.
Keep the faith,
Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how. (Schedule Here)