Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O LORD, do not abandon those who search for you. Psalm 9:10
Have you ever been afraid of the dark as a child? Can you remember what frightened you? Was it what you thought you saw? Was it something you heard said about the dark? Or did you have an experience which made you afraid to be in darkness?
I have been afraid of the dark, and for good reason. It held the unknown. Things in the dark look different than in the light. I could clearly recognize what I saw when the room was lit versus a darkened room filled with things that seemed to take on weird shapes.
I needed to be able to see everything clearly and when I couldn’t it created fear and uneasiness.
As I was writing this I had a thought: This is not new. Others have experienced the fear of darkness, not just in their physical environment but spiritual darkness (not knowing about spiritual things).
There are times in our lives we find ourselves like a child, exploring new territory, faced with life’s changes which lead to uncertainty. We have “why” questions. Where we find ourselves seems to be a repeat of another time in our lives, and we feel even less empowered.
The unknown is not comfortable. We prefer to make a plan and take action, but our journey through life does not always happen the way we plan, does it? We feel confident in knowing where we are going and what is going to happen, don’t we?
That was how I lived at one point in my life, confident in my efforts and my actions; sure they would get me to where I desired to go. I achieved much success, yet there was a voice calling from the deep, whispering the thoughts that there was more than what I planned.
This was the unknown, the spiritual voice, pursuing me, drawing me to another purpose, but I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t know this way. I had no idea what was to be gotten from this path.
I felt like the Israelites: “Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt? (Numbers 14:3).”
The things of God, his ways were new, unknown, but I was not satisfied with my pursuits. They seemed empty. “Is this all there is? There has to be more to life than this.”
I desired to trust, but was afraid to, just like my fear of the dark. I knew I was being pulled but I had fears. I had to be willing to let go and let God. Just like a child is placed on a chair and you summon him/her to jump into your arms. . . At first they don’t trust, but as confidence builds, they jump.
Looking back, I’m glad I jumped. Something amazing has taken place in my heart of heart.
Let me know what you think.
Keep the faith,
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