by Guest Writer Cheryl Anderson
Do you have difficulty saying “no” to family? Do you know how to say “no” to friends? Though it’s not easy for some, a few tips can help to get a little closer.
Today is Thursday and I can’t wait until Saturday. This has been an extremely busy week working overtime. Running on five hours or less of sleep each night is taking a toll on me. There just does not seem to be enough hours in the day. Saturday, I can get the oil changed in my vehicle, grocery shopping, and then finally some rest.
Thursday Alicia asked me to help her prepare the meal and serve her missionary guests on Saturday from 1 – 4 pm. Another friend had to cancel and she desperately needs assistance with food preparation and serving. Of course, I told Alicia yes, and I will be there early, around 10 a.m.
An hour later, Jennifer called to ask if I could babysit her son on Saturday while she visits her mother at the hospital. She has been through a lot lately with the divorce, and now her mother is sick. How can I say “no”? I agree to watch him.
Now I have two commitments. When will I ever get my grocery shopping done? That evening and the next day, I am consumed about how to handle this situation.
Why did I say “yes” to both requests? Experiencing disappointments throughout my life has had an impact. I will admit I don’t like to say “no.” So why did I do it? I said “yes” to Alicia because I don’t want to burn bridges and jeopardize our relationship. . .She has always been there for me. And “yes” to Jennifer because I don’t like leaving people deserted in their time of need.
Although saying “yes” seems like an easy answer, it is not necessarily the best answer all the time. Every time I say “yes” to something, I am saying “no” to something else; “No” to a social life; “no” to my to-do list, and “no” to getting rest.
Take a look at how you have been living your life in the past week and think about what you have been saying “yes” to. Have you been saying “yes” to people who don’t respect your time; don’t appreciate you; unfulfilling relationships; or activities you don’t like? If you are, what you are really doing is saying “no” to your ideal life.
Many people say “yes” to things they don’t like because deep down, they don’t respect and value themselves. They see themselves as less important, that their time is dispensable, that they are not valuable. When you respect yourself and time, you will be very conscious of how you spend it.
Learning to say “no” is an ongoing process and can be tough to get started. As long as you realize the position “yes” puts you in, how it makes you feel and that it is not bringing about the right attitude, then your answer should be “no.”
My time is valuable and needs to be respected. There are enough hours in the day; I just need to learn to say “no” to better manage the hours I am given.
Remember there’s nothing wrong with saying “no—” It’s about learning how to do so.
Keep the faith.
Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).