(A page from my journal on February 2, 2015)
All day today I’ve been thinking about my husband’s upcoming procedure. He will be admitted to the outpatient department. It should be simple, so I was told.
Nothing about hospitals and doctors are ever simple to me. I have fear. It’s there. It’s real. I don’t like these thoughts. . . feelings. I wish it was over, but there’s another 24 hours to wait.
I asked my sister-in-law to pray for us, and she did. I even asked a few close friends to send up prayers. I was out of my comfort zone. I am married to the eternal optimist about everything. He never voices doubt, or negative; he is always sure there is going to be a positive outcome.
Waiting is a part of life. It’s not going to happen until an appointed time. My thinking about it won’t make it happen any faster. I could try worrying but I don’t think it will make something happen quicker.
So I choose to pen my thoughts on this paper in the hopes that you might relate, or that you will draw hope and inspiration from what you face now or in the future.
What are you facing right now? Is it a sick child? Have you lost your job? Are you worried about money? Is your health challenging you right now? Perhaps you are not making the money you thought you were going to make. Maybe you invested in your business and the return has been disappointing.
No matter what situation you find yourself right now, chances are it is occupying your thoughts. You may even have some fearful or doubting moments, wondering what the end is going to be.
At this point you may be struggling to think pass the situation. You can’t see the bright side.
I knew I could not change what was about to happen. Everything was moving along. What had to be done had to be done.
What we go through on this journey through life has its good times and not so good times. The not so good times are moments of reflection. This is the place where we examine what really is important to us.
My situation brought to mind the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel. Hannah wanted a child. Her existence felt meaningless without being able to give birth. She would go to the temple and pray herself into a drunken and tearful state, to the point the priest of the temple accused her of being drunk.
In a way I felt like Hannah: I wanted the procedure to be over, that there would be a positive outcome. I didn’t pray myself into a drunken and tearful state, but I felt the sting of uncertainty, the not knowing, the wondering: will this day end with life or death.
Hannah thought it was about her wants, but the child she would bear would be God’s chosen prophet to communicate His heart to His chosen people.
Yes, it is okay to have a moment. . . take some time. You can even entertain fear. . . but only for a moment. Yes, there are some things you cannot change; they are not within your control.
And then the calm came. There was a shift in my thinking. I felt a surge of peace, signaling me to believe, trust and to keep the faith because it wasn’t going to be over until it was over.
What a breath of fresh air that was. As soon as I released it all, in comes a lady whose husband was going through the same procedure. She was visibly fearful, talking incessantly, assessing even her own mortality.
I got through mine just in time to be a light in the afternoon for her. Thank you, LORD, I didn’t know you were setting things up in the midst of my going through.
Where are you in your life situation? Your storms can be a light to others. Do you desire to do more with your life experiences, to help others come through what you have gone through? Schedule your one (1) hour complimentary consultation here. (click here)