Stuffing it never works. In the long run whatever you are stuffing usually will find a way to surface again. And when it does the experience seems like a double whammy. Sooner or later after stuffing so much stuff, you can’t close the lid any more and it blows up in your face.
What are the things we stuff? We stuff our feelings about a boss chewing you out on the job, because your numbers are not meeting up to his expectations. The spouse does something that irritates you . . . too many times to count. How about your adult son or daughter who does something that is so not what they have been raised to do, or be, and you can’t talk about it yet.
We have developed the habit of not allowing our emotions to run the full cycle, instead we just don’t talk it out, or about it. . . We stuff it, and never pull out the lesson, or satisfy our soul man.
This had been my practice for many years. So overwhelmed with reactions, but instead of resolving my feelings, I just stuffed them. What about you? Are you a stuffer?
Where does “stuffing it” lead to? Well, let’s look at what happens when you stuff. You are not allowing your feelings to surface, you stop them, so you never get to express those feelings.
Some of us learn this from childhood. You have a parent who never allows you to express yourself. After awhile you learn that what you have to say is unimportant, don’t you?
For the person who is use to “stuffing it” it takes work but you can do it. Once you know what is happening, it changes how you react and respond to those areas where you feel you can’t express yourself in a way to be heard without unleashing your emotions, or it being received without disrespect.
Stuffers need to be aware of their emotions in those situations. I find it to be more effective to listen, say nothing, go away and prayerfully ponder my feelings before responding to those who have tread upon that territory.
The stuffer may carry an underlying anger or resentment which can be volatile when someone has put them in that position. After all, it was okay when they were a child, but as an adult it is not acceptable.
One way I handle these moments: get control. Do not respond with emotions. It is okay to say little, leave the situation to regain control. Take as long as you need to get through the emotions, then prepare to respond.
The more you recognize the triggers that spark these emotions, the fewer stings and more control you will have as new situations come up.
Let me know what you think.
Keep the faith
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