Your Destiny Is Already Set. . . Stop Fighting It!

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Your Destiny

Growing up I had no vision of ever being a writer. There are so many more capable writers than I; those who have studied Journalism, worked with magazines, have had the training and gained the expertise to be recognized for their knowledge and skill.

I was sharing with some writers recently how I would have been the least likely to do what I do today. I didn’t know I had it in me to write, but I have discovered my passion to share my life lessons and teaching through my experiences.

It started with my first book: Why Me? Journaling My Way to Wholeness. The story is about my triumphant journey through my traumatic life experiences into wholeness.

When I was about 10 years old, I recall hearing a voice from what seemed like heaven at the time, saying I would write about my experiences one day but I never paid much attention to it.

Nothing about my schooling would have been a clue to anyone that I would end up writing.

I wrote about an experience that changed the course of my life. I discovered a spiritual intervention in my life that moved me to face my demons. I saw the power of the spirit to affect my life through simple truths and I thought if that could happen for me, then why not share it with anyone who will listen.

Little did I know my past prevented my future and that I had to deal with the past if I was going to connect to my destiny, my purpose.

Today I do things I never thought of, or could have dreamed was possible. Because my purpose has overtaken me.

To think I wrote to heal my wounded soul from childhood experiences and that has been taken to another level of teaching others how to release the soul to receive their spiritual healing.

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how. (Schedule Here)

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Can I Just Be Real For A Moment?

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Be Real

Today I finally sat down to pen something for you. So far I have written several different thoughts and tossed them as incomplete. Don’t really know where I want to go. I do know I want to be encouraging, positive and Spiritual. That I do know.

Perhaps in my indecision there is a lesson to be learned. There are times in life that you need to be silent, particularly when something troubles you, is eating away at you, but still do what you’ve got to do. Yes, there is something eating away at me right about now. And it is better to leave it in silence, rather than to write or speak it here.

Never share anything that bothers you until you have prayed for God to give you direction. You can sound off about anger issues and have to eat those words later. I have had my moments and you probably have to, where you were sorry you spoke too soon.

People deserve to hear how you handle situations rather than you sounding off about them. If you have nothing to say but a complaint, then keep it to yourself; others don’t deserve to have you blast them with your filth. They have enough of their own to contend with.

Things that cause anger should be left in silent meditation and prayer for as long as it takes to work through to where you need to be in the situation . . . hopefully, that should be a place of control and tact.

Life is not without challenges of all types. Are you going to let those hindrances overcome you, cause you not to follow through on your responsibility? I could have said nothing but it would not have helped you to stay the course, or know that it is okay to be vulnerable.

Because you are bothered by something, or someone, doesn’t mean you have to bow to the roadblock, but find a way to take the roadblock and create something positive. I have chosen to write to you anyway, that through my experience you might find the hope and inspiration to conquer your demon this day.

What I have come to recognize in every situation I face, that God indeed is in charge and that things that rattle my tree are meant to toughen me for the long journey ahead. So look at stuff that bothers or attempts to cripple where you are going as lessons rather than detours that hang you up. Get over it and get moving. You will be glad you did. Next time you will say, “Bring it On!”

Let me know what you think.

Keep the faith,
Blondie Clayton

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how. (Schedule Here)

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So I Hung In There . . .

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Hang-in-there

“When the student is ready the teacher will come.” I have heard this statement throughout the course of my life, and have had experiences which certainly bear it out. Those teachers may not be a person directly but teachings which you are now ready to receive and apply to your life’s journey.

Have you discovered that life is full of learning, growing and changing moments? For example, have you encountered people who just seem to rub you the wrong way? Or there is something about them that you just can’t seem to connect with? Perhaps it is someone you just don’t like.

The teachers may not always look the way we want them to look. They may not always have a pleasing or pleasant entrance, but they do have purpose.

What do we do in situations like this? Oftentimes we disconnect or avoid those types. These do not get to become a part of our circle of friends, do they? Why? Because your choices for your circle are only those you are in some type of harmony with, or have some common interest.

Are those people sent to upset your harmonious existence, or is there something which has allowed your paths to cross for a reason you may not understand, or is it to help you to get over something about you that maybe holding you captive?

Well, what does that have to do with “When the student is ready, the teacher will come?” We can either look at life’s challenges as barriers, or we can see them as a student, embracing them as teaching moments. Another way to look at it, a teacher comes as you grow to take you to the next level of transformation, to make you better.

Years ago I worked with this client as a ghost writer, writing his book. He was 85 years old. I was excited about helping, we agreed on a price and the writing began. A few months into it, I began to see some patterns. He wanted me to read out loud to him at each session. It was then I discovered he didn’t read well. It meant that what I wrote for him I had to then read it back to him.

Quite frankly, I felt I had been deceived. I wanted to return the fee and quit but there was something about his mission and his dream that I felt I had to help him finish; so I hung in there. I lost patience, but prayed silent prayers to remind myself that I was working for a higher purpose.

As our work together continued I began to notice feelings of frustration and anger rising up. I found myself struggling to contain myself, but with God’s help I managed to put those feelings in check. Why was all of this happening? I had never felt this way about a client.

What was this client stirring up? Is it possible those stormy relationships maybe tapping into buried and forgotten territory? Are you involved in a situation where you might need to hang in there? Then look for the rewards that are worth more than Gold. For those bring the greatest significance and satisfaction.

Keep your eyes on the goal and believe that you can get there. Looking back, I am so glad I didn’t quit.

What did I learn? You can always quit. Get past what you feel, because feelings can be wrong. His behavior required much patience. I experienced many moments of silent prayer. In spite of, I put his needs to write and publish a book, to fulfill his dream above what I was feeling.

Let me know what you think.
Blondie Clayton

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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Get UnStuffed! What You Have To Say Is Important!

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get-unstuffed

Stuffing it never works. In the long run whatever you are stuffing usually will find a way to surface again. And when it does the experience seems like a double whammy. Sooner or later after stuffing so much stuff, you can’t close the lid any more and it blows up in your face.

What are the things we stuff? We stuff our feelings about a boss chewing you out on the job, because your numbers are not meeting up to his expectations. The spouse does something that irritates you . . . too many times to count. How about your adult son or daughter who does something that is so not what they have been raised to do, or be, and you can’t talk about it yet.

We have developed the habit of not allowing our emotions to run the full cycle, instead we just don’t talk it out, or about it. . . We stuff it, and never pull out the lesson, or satisfy our soul man.

This had been my practice for many years. So overwhelmed with reactions, but instead of resolving my feelings, I just stuffed them. What about you? Are you a stuffer?

Where does “stuffing it” lead to? Well, let’s look at what happens when you stuff. You are not allowing your feelings to surface, you stop them, so you never get to express those feelings.

Some of us learn this from childhood. You have a parent who never allows you to express yourself. After awhile you learn that what you have to say is unimportant, don’t you?

For the person who is use to “stuffing it” it takes work but you can do it. Once you know what is happening, it changes how you react and respond to those areas where you feel you can’t express yourself in a way to be heard without unleashing your emotions, or it being received without disrespect.

Stuffers need to be aware of their emotions in those situations. I find it to be more effective to listen, say nothing, go away and prayerfully ponder my feelings before responding to those who have tread upon that territory.

The stuffer may carry an underlying anger or resentment which can be volatile when someone has put them in that position. After all, it was okay when they were a child, but as an adult it is not acceptable.

One way I handle these moments: get control. Do not respond with emotions. It is okay to say little, leave the situation to regain control. Take as long as you need to get through the emotions, then prepare to respond.

The more you recognize the triggers that spark these emotions, the fewer stings and more control you will have as new situations come up.

Let me know what you think.

Keep the faith

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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A Leader Never Misses An Opportunity To Teach

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Best

“Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16.

Would you rather have joy, or happiness? Well, aren’t they the same? They could be but when you think about happy moments in your life, were they fleeting, or did they last forever? Perhaps joy can be the same as happiness, or joy can have an expression in occasional happy moments to add to joy.

As I was thinking on these thoughts of joy and happiness, my nail polish bottle caught my eye. It sat there closed up. I looked down at my nails. They needed polishing.

That bottle isn’t going to do my nails unless I open it and do it myself. I could plead with it. I could knock it off my desk, demand that it perform, do my nails but talk will not make it perform. Unless I open the bottle the purpose it has will not be served, will it?

Quite frankly, I don’t want to do my nails right now. I need to but I’m not willing to open the bottle to begin the process.

Happiness is triggered by something external. Someone gives you a gift, and you’re happy. It needs something to happen to exhibit itself, to serve a purpose of uplifting your spirits.

When the external purpose is no longer present, happiness fades. Happiness can cause a temporary reaction, or action, but it soon dissipates.

Why is joy different? Why is it so lasting? Why is it not moved by external happenings, that it remains the same?

The nail polish attitude can only produce temporary happiness, but the Joy that comes from our heavenly Father is everlasting.
The Psalmist wrote: “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness. . .” Psalm 30:11.

Life produces many happy moments. I have experienced a few, but joy has come to stay in my heart. My joy is not moved by my life’s trials or situations that don’t look good.

So what then is the lesson?

The lesson depends on where you are and what you are seeking. Did what you read give you something to think about? Does it make you curious to know more? Were you able to assess where you are, discern your own happiness and joy?

Nothing will happen unless you want it to happen. There are hindrances to things you want to do in life. You can either allow them to cause you to wander around in the wilderness, never making the connection, or you can put the wheels in motion.

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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My Strength . . .

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man-standing

Keep the faith,
Blondie Clayton

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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Grieving A Loss: When Words Become Hurtful, And What To Do About It!

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by Cheryl Anderson

Grieving

Showing someone you care begins with finding the Right Words. . .

Below are 10 verbal red flags from people who were trying to console others. Good intentions gone awry:

l. I understand. I know how you feel.
2. It wasn’t meant to be.
3. They lived a good life, remember that.
4. The same thing happened to me, but as you can see I didn’t die.
5. So, what are you going to do with yourself now they are gone?
6. You must feel as dreadful as I did when I got my divorce.
7. How are you feeling? OR Feeling that way won’t help a thing.
8. It was such a lovely service, and you cried at all the right times.
9. Why isn’t the casket open?
10.So you’re all alone now, right? What a shame.

An unpleasant and unwelcome occurrence of life is Death. Its presence makes us feel uncomfortable like little else can. The most talkative people struggle to speak to someone who is mourning the loss of a loved one. To avoid awkward silence and provide some comfort to the griever, people often resort to the clichés that readily come to mind.

There were two losses in my life that affected me greatly: the stillborn birth of my baby daughter and the passing of my father. Some people with the best intentions trying to console me said some misguided and, frankly, insensitive things. A few of the most painful moments were people staying away, fearing they would say the wrong thing.

Have you ever known what you wanted to say, but just couldn’t figure out how to say it? It’s certainly worth the extra effort to get it right, because the “how” will make the difference in the way your “what” is received.

Some people are never short of words. Personally, I have good days and bad. Yet there are definitely ways to get yourself out of the ditch when it comes to finding the right words and getting started. I find it helpful to “say it out loud” first.

I, too, in the past have said the wrong things and avoided people. Using those experiences, I now have the opportunity to practice mindful compassion instead of blurting out clichés or saying nothing at all.

There are no right words that will take away the pain. What brings comfort to some will not bring comfort to all (Listen to Stacey Geary’s Story). The best you can hope for is to be the source of comfort to those grieving. Focus on the life, rather than the loss. Sometimes just allowing them the freedom to express their grief is the best support we can provide.

Above all, especially after everyone is gone, offer to do basic chores or shopping or bring over a meal, which can certainly prove helpful. Know that you have the power to provide genuine comfort. You can also send regular cards and notes as part of your continued support for at least six months to a year.

There will be situations in our lives when we struggle with saying the right thing or are afraid to say anything fearing you’ll say the wrong thing. So often we are judged in a fleeting instant by what we say. Many times you only have one chance to create your best impression for effective and meaningful communication.

If others have said the wrong things and caused you hurt in the past, now is as good a time as any to forgive them because they meant well, but didn’t know they did not have to say anything and that you would have still gotten the message of their heart.

Keep the faith.

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1-hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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“No” is Such A Simple Word

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by Guest Writer Cheryl Anderson

No

Do you have difficulty saying “no” to family? Do you know how to say “no” to friends? Though it’s not easy for some, a few tips can help to get a little closer.

Today is Thursday and I can’t wait until Saturday. This has been an extremely busy week working overtime. Running on five hours or less of sleep each night is taking a toll on me. There just does not seem to be enough hours in the day. Saturday, I can get the oil changed in my vehicle, grocery shopping, and then finally some rest.

Thursday Alicia asked me to help her prepare the meal and serve her missionary guests on Saturday from 1 – 4 pm. Another friend had to cancel and she desperately needs assistance with food preparation and serving. Of course, I told Alicia yes, and I will be there early, around 10 a.m.

An hour later, Jennifer called to ask if I could babysit her son on Saturday while she visits her mother at the hospital. She has been through a lot lately with the divorce, and now her mother is sick. How can I say “no”? I agree to watch him.

Now I have two commitments. When will I ever get my grocery shopping done? That evening and the next day, I am consumed about how to handle this situation.

Why did I say “yes” to both requests? Experiencing disappointments throughout my life has had an impact. I will admit I don’t like to say “no.” So why did I do it? I said “yes” to Alicia because I don’t want to burn bridges and jeopardize our relationship. . .She has always been there for me. And “yes” to Jennifer because I don’t like leaving people deserted in their time of need.

Although saying “yes” seems like an easy answer, it is not necessarily the best answer all the time. Every time I say “yes” to something, I am saying “no” to something else; “No” to a social life; “no” to my to-do list, and “no” to getting rest.

Take a look at how you have been living your life in the past week and think about what you have been saying “yes” to. Have you been saying “yes” to people who don’t respect your time; don’t appreciate you; unfulfilling relationships; or activities you don’t like? If you are, what you are really doing is saying “no” to your ideal life.

Many people say “yes” to things they don’t like because deep down, they don’t respect and value themselves. They see themselves as less important, that their time is dispensable, that they are not valuable. When you respect yourself and time, you will be very conscious of how you spend it.

Learning to say “no” is an ongoing process and can be tough to get started. As long as you realize the position “yes” puts you in, how it makes you feel and that it is not bringing about the right attitude, then your answer should be “no.”

My time is valuable and needs to be respected. There are enough hours in the day; I just need to learn to say “no” to better manage the hours I am given.

Remember there’s nothing wrong with saying “no—” It’s about learning how to do so.

Keep the faith.

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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Anger. . . What You Read Here May Shock You!

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Anger

Soul searching! Examining myself! Discovering what makes me tick, what ruffles my feathers . . . causes me to act. How do other people affect my decisions, my comfort, my peace, my joy, my livelihood, my success?

Getting ANGRY about my circumstances forces me into action. As long as there are no waves in my life, I am laid back. I procrastinate.

My youthful experiences with ANGER kept me from becoming a juvenile delinquent when I felt thrown away by my divorcing parents. I got ANGRY enough at them to decide to make something of my life, to show them, so to speak.

It was my parents who started ANGER roaring in my life and my grandmother who added icing to the cake by telling me that I would never amount to anything.

I could have chosen, based on two major people in my life, to become a loser. I was set up to fulfill my grandmother’s prediction. After all, when people you love, have imposed negative situations on you, one can feel betrayed, or hopeless. Instead, my grandmother’s opinion made me more determined to succeed, to prove her wrong.

Negative situations and people have made me ANGRY. ANGER had its job: to protect me when it had to and to move me along when it was time.

I have cultivated a determination that stands against what others think, say or do. ANGER surfaces to help me to stay focused and to carry out the plan God has predestined for my life.

When I started out as a writer over 17 years ago, negative people reared their heads to voice their opinions: family, friends, publishers, etc. Every rejection letter made me more determined to stay the course. I got ANGRY enough to work at sharpening my skills as a writer.

ANGER still drives me toward my purpose.There are some places, people, task that God knows I won’t change, or do, act upon, unless I am upset by ANGER.

The jobs I have worked on, I would still be there, if something didn’t happen . . . ANGER came through some situation or person to move me out of there because I don’t like change.

Controlling ANGER is the key to success.Don’t dwell on angry moments too long. Stop, think it through, “what are you really MAD about?” Otherwise, you will be overcome; it will eat away at you and consume your day.

Now that I understand ANGER’s purpose, it has lost its power. ANGER is my spark to take positive action. That action starts with me, acknowledging it, accepting my part, seeking its intent, making decisions.

What contribution do you want to make to the society in which you live? There is a bigger reward coming; this is just the beginning of greatness.

It is time to take charge, to control the things that can be controlled and to know when destiny is making change.

I maybe blindsided by ANGER, forget that I am its master, but it is not for long. If ANGER is what it takes to reach my destination, where mediocrity and complacency won’t, then bring it on.

ANGER is the friend that has shown up just when I needed her to take over my life long enough to free me from despair.

Thank you, ANGER, for pushing me when I was too afraid, or chicken to free myself.I will never look at you the same.

From this day forward I will embrace situations and people who rub me the wrong way with a smile, now that I know their purpose.

Wow! This week the light has come on. Mediocrity and Complacency are enemies, they perform well; Oh, but ANGER fired up can cause them to scatter.

“God, thank you for the me you have created and guided in how to use anger in more constructive ways, rather than holding it in my heart against people.”

Keep the faith.
Blondie Clayton

Where are you in your life purpose? Have you experienced so many storms you can’t seem to pick up the pieces? Do you feel as if there is something missing, a hole in your heart? If you are ready to move on, then schedule your 1 hour complimentary coaching session to discuss how (Schedule Here).

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